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Why So Many Mass Shootings?

6/22/2022

What Men and Boys Really Need that They Don't Receive

There is a hole in the heart for many young men and boys these days. Some are hurting so badly that they become depressed. Others become violent and take out their anger, pain, and self-hatred on others through mass shootings.

Unfortunately, some boys are abandoned, shamed, bullied, and ostracized. Some from dysfunctional and abusive families. Others have never been taught how to love themselves, and feel connected. The world can be a hostile and

confusing place sometimes. Internalized shame
can lead to violent outcomes. Suicide and suicide attempts are increasing among boys and young men.

It is important to grow up knowing one's authentic self. But how does a boy do that when he is continuously told what he is supposed to do and be? He is also encouraged to believe that his validation as a man has to come from outside, from other men, and from women.

This co-dependent message creates inner emptiness which boys attempt to fill through activities, addictions, and macho posturing.
Excessive playing of videogames consumes of the time of many young men and boys.

There are dozens of books written about raising healthy boys. Michael Gurian, Terrence Real, Herb Goldberg, Samuel Osherson, Robert Bly, and many others have written books on this topic. How many parents and educators have read them and taking them seriously?

There is a lack of love, affection, and guidance for many boys and men. Here are some questions which need answers for boys and men to be able to love themselves, create a supportive network, have a sense of meaning and purpose and navigate a complex and puzzling world:

Who am I?
What do I love to do?
What skills and passions do I have?
How do I communicate my needs and feelings?
How do I choose who to trust?
How do I deal with all of the anger, rage, and violence in the world?
How can I make a living?
How do I take good care of my body?
What does spirituality mean to me?
How do I incorporate spirituality into my life?
How do I avoid toxic people and situations?
How do I leave abusive people?
What is my role in bringing more love and peace into the world?
How do I care for and respect the earth's resources?
What can I learn from elders?
How do I learn to cope with change, and let go of the need to control when it is necessary?
How do I develop resilience?
How do I forgive those who hurt me?
How do I achieve some inner peace?
How do I support others in finding their way?
How do I learn to appreciate what I have?
How do I develop the flexibility to cope with the changes in life?
How do I learn to take care of myself?
How can I love myself, be proud and also humble?
How much of material wealth is enough for me?

We need understanding, mature, helpful adults who can support boys in their growth into healthy and mature manhood. This learning can take place in families, communities and spiritual settings. Unless this happens, we will continue to see this cycle of violence and suffering in the world.

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Solutions to Yet Another Mass School Shooting

6/9/2022

Dr. Michael Obsatz
Professor Emeritus
Macalester College, St. Paul, MN

I have been studying violence in America and its causes for more than forty years. My book, "Raising Nonviolent Children in a Violent World" was published in 1999, around the time of the Columbine Shooting, and won the 1999 Minnesota Book Award and the 1999 Catholic Press Association Award.

I was invited to the White House in 2003 to meet with folks all over the country, including the President to discuss ways of stopping mass school shootings.

I have learned that we have had over 200 mass shootings since 2022 began. We haven't learned very much in 23 years. We have had numerous school shootings since 1999, including
Parkland and Sandy Hook.

Anger, rage, and violence are a part of a culture that historically focuses on power, hierarchy, scarcity, domination, control, and marginalization of the poor, old, women, GLBTQ, people of color, and Jews, Muslims, etc.

Mass shootings in grocery stores, businesses, churches, mosques, and synagogues are signs of a mass culture in severe pain and denial..

Empire Consciousness has always been part of American culture. All bullying is a result of it. Native Americans have experienced this for centuries. Slavery is the ultimate oppression.
How people view life, others, and spiritual matters impacts their attitudes and behaviors.

Oneness Consciousness sees the inherent worthiness and lovability of all people, and encourages sharing, compassion, and equality and justice for all.

The words, "All Men are Created Equal," did not include men of color, those who are disabled, women, and religious diversity.

School shootings will end only when we:

Start living in Oneness Consciousness.
Stop teaching Empire Consciousness to children from birth.
Eliminate power differentials, and domination of all kinds, including bullying.
Rid our need for labeling, dividing, and focusing on how we are different.
Start seeing the Divinity and worthiness in the Diversity.
Stop denying all the suffering of those who have been oppressed and marginalized.
Examine entitlement, and why people need to believe they have a right to do whatever they want to no matter how it affects the common good.
Limit the amount of guns and automatic weapons, and check carefully the mental capacity of those who own them.
Provide mental health services to all who would harm themselves or others.
Help people develop a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives.

Guards and teachers with guns cannot stop the
amount of violence and destruction we have experienced. A shift in awareness and values is an inside job, not on outside job.

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Self-Compassion as Spiritual Practice

6/9/2022

I am Not the Mistakes that I Have Made

India Arie has recorded a beautiful song called "I am Light." One of the lines in the song is "I am not the mistakes I have made.... I am light."

This week, I talked to a friend who was feeling down on himself and very depressed. He was reminding himself of all the mistakes he had made in his lifetime. I tried to console him, pointing out how much good he had done in the world, how many people he had helped, and it is remarkable that he survived his childhood abuse and neglect. I told him he was a "walking miracle." He didn't know how to respond to my comments and support. I just let it go.

I believe that we have all suffered in our lives, been hurt and abandoned, and made mistakes. Hopefully, we have learned from them, grown in deeper understanding and consciousness.

Falling down is inevitable in this lifetime. It is how we choose to pick ourselves up and move on that is the miracle. For many of us, we get second and third chances. Another song: "Nobody is going to rain on my parade." Self-compassion means that we don't rain on our own parade.

Many of us have had numerous emotional and physical relationships that did not work out for some reason. We can move into the shame/blame game, or we can just understand that our choices were made to teach us something. We can ask ourselves: What have I learned from this disappointment, loss, change, betrayal, or injury?

What a joy it can be to know that we are perfectly imperfect. God loves us just the way we are. Our lives are continuing to unfold, with surprises and challenges. It is helpful if we are have spiritual and emotional support. Another song: "We can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again."

Here's to appreciating our resilience, and our forgiving ourselves for being human. Self-compassion is a spiritual practice. It requires conscious effort to forgive ourselves, and know that ultimately we are loved, supported, and
cherished.

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The Holiness of Authenticity

6/9/2022

My brain is filled with facts
Concepts, ideas, thoughts,
Experiences, awareness

My brain has been processing
For many years
After 80, it is bloated, exhausted

Information came in
From a family
And from a troubled world

What is true?
What is false?
What is real, or illusion?

The data keeps pouring in
From media, people and
Direct experience

When does the brain get to rest?
While sleeping?
New data comes from dreams

Lies, deceptions and
Manipulations from day one
How do we develop trust?

The world is angry
The world is hurting
The world is filled with self-hate

So we follow our heart
And let our brain rest
Because it is tired of it all

Authentic living is amazing
When we no longer care
What others think of us

And how can they begin
To understand
The complexity that we are?

Gathering the soul pieces
And knowing that trust
Comes only from the inside

It is a miracle that we survive
The constant chatter
And assumptions, the lies

It is a miracle that we survive
And maintain our center
When some attempt to destroy us

Our very essence
Is a precious gift
Given by God

We claim our heart and mind
Claim our understandings
And claim our freedom

As we bask in the holiness
Of our authentic self
Still intact, still radiating love

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Cherish the Gifts

6/9/2022

We are One with the One

We are given a body
To care for and love
And nurture and strengthen
As we grow older
We are strong in body

We are given a brain
To care for and use
To learn concepts,
Ideas, and to reason
We are strong in mind

We are given a heart
To grow with compassion
And understand feelings
And love, hurt, and grow
We are strong in heart

We are given a soul
To provide faith and hope
And see connections
Among all of the earth
We are soul-centered

We are given a planet
A place to live and thrive
With natural beauty
And need for balance
We care for the earth

We are given people to love
Who support us in all we do
So we don't have to journey
All by ourselves
We are a Universal family

So we can live in gratitude
For all we are given
And integrate mind, body
Soul, planet and people
We are grateful

Oneness consciousness
Is about seeing the blessings
The connections, the similarities
And not focusing on differences
We are One with the One

It is the ultimate belief system
That confronts evil and
Promotes justice, fairness,
Equality for All
We are One with the One

Cherish and use the gifts
By being and spreading love
And trusting the Universe
To sustain us through all challenges
We are One with the One

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Where Have All the Flowers Gone? Again.

6/9/2022

When I was much younger, I used to enjoy listening to Peter, Paul and Mary. One of their most popular songs was "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" It was a song about war, destruction, and death.

I was a student at Brandeis University, near Boston, in 1959 - 63, and Mary's sister was a student at our school. So, she was able to book PPM frequently. I saw and heard them sing numerous times.

Their song is actually an anti-war song of frustration. "When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn."

And now it is sixty years later, and there is horrific war raging in Ukraine. Many people have been killed, and there is a massive destruction of buildings and resources. Over three million refugees have left, seeking some safety in Poland and elsewhere.

It seems that we have always had some deadly conflict somewhere over the last sixty years. Governments declare war. Dictators declare war.

There is a fear of scarcity, of not having enough, of people who are different. There is entitlement -- "this is rightfully mine." It can be called the Promised Land, or Manifest Destiny. But whatever it is called, is about destruction and resources and people. In Ireland, one million people starved to death due to the British Empire.

Empires have always taken over less powerful places and converted them into their ways and beliefs. People have been displaced, uprooted, and had everything of theirs destroyed. Families are torn apart by wars. Suffering is everywhere. Death is all around.

It is Lent now, and Easter is coming. Good Friday is the time of Crucifixion -- killing. Passover is coming commemorating the Jews being freed from slavery. The Jews were persecuted for centuries. The Resurrection reminds us that there is life after death, and new beginnings. We want to believe there is life after death.

In America, Native Americans, Blacks and many immigrant groups have been subjected to violence, slavery, segregation, racial profiling and death. America was founded by a revolution that conquered Native American land and resources. Native Americans were murdered, and some were put on reservations to live. It was their land and resources that were taken over.

The flowers are always plucked, and the people at the bottom who are just going about their business of living their daily lives are decimated.

What can we do about this continuous suffering?
Change consciousness from Empire Consciousness to Oneness Consciousness. We must generate feelings of compassion, connection, and love for the world to be saved from annihilation. We need to believe there is enough for everyone if we share the abundance of resources.

When will Emperors and Empires ever learn to change their consciousness? When will we study war no more. Chants of the 1960's continue to ask for and beg for peace.

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A Time for Resilience

6/9/2022

We are now experiencing a time of turmoil, stress, and uncertainty.

Here are some of the challenges of our times:

Russia is invading the Ukraine, with fear-based bravado. Other neighboring countries are at risk, and refuges are leaving the Ukraine in great number.

Climate change has affected all of us with wildfires, flooding, tornadoes, earthquakes, massive melting of ice, Extreme temperatures are common.

Violence and rage fill some of our cities, as oppression and racism are revealed. Young Black people are dying due to police brutality and biases.

The pandemic (COVID-19) has killed close to one million people living in America. The danger does still exist even though new cases are down. We still have to be careful. For some at risk, there is still no physical signs of love and affection. Front line health care professionals are burned out.

There is political division and hostility -- power struggles, and decisions made on the basis of greed. January 6, 2021 could have led to a complete collapse of our democracy as we know it.

Children and parents are struggling with school closures, possible teacher strikes, and constant changes in CDC guidelines about wear masks and social distancing.

It is a time of chaos, blatant aggression, and fear.

Maintaining a calm center is challenging. Maintaining a sense of order amidst the chaos takes remarkable energy, mindfulness, and hope.

We need to be lights in the dark world more than ever. We need to pray as if everything depended on God and act as if everything depended on us.

Provide food for the hungry, homes for the homeless, and rest for the weary. If we trust that God is in charge, we must quiet our minds, and moderate the amount of information that comes into our brains. Be informed, but not be inundated with overload.

Meditate, pray, relax in nature, live in gratitude for each moment. Pray for those who are hurting, grieving, and suffering. Provide economic and emotional support whenever we can.

This is our challenge and opportunity in 2022.

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Empire vs Unity Consciousness with Dr. Michael Obsatz

6/9/2022

Dr. Michael Obsatz speaks for 46 minutes in this YouTube video.

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Trustworthy Mentoring

1/25/2022

Trustworthy Longterm Consistent Mentoring: The Antidote to Empire Consciousness, Childhood Trauma, Oppression, Abuse and Abandonment

Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey have written a book about childhood trauma called "What Happened to You?" One of the problems with early childhood trauma is that it changes the victim's brain chemistry. There is a fear of abandonment, a mistrust of life, a protection of one's fragile vulnerability that comes when one is been unloved, abandoned and hurt badly as a small child. This emotional wounding is not easily cured.

Trust is the cornerstone of maturity and healthy risk-taking. Iyla Van Sant has written about four kinds of trust -- trust in self, trust in others, trust in God, and trust in life itself. When this trust is eroded due to early trauma, it is challenging to regain it.

There is also cross-generational trauma. If one's ancestors have been persecuted, abused, oppressed, and marginalized, this emotional trauma is passed on from one generation to the next affecting the body and the brain. Many minorities who were enslaved, hunted, or killed carry this historical trauma experience into the present.

Whenever there is Empire Consciousness, there is always the consequence of trauma. Empire Consciousness requires hierarchy, domination, power and control over others -- especially those who are seen as "different." All bullying is the result of Empire Consciousness and leads to fear, anger, rage, and shame. Desire for control and self-protection is the natural response to trauma and abandonment. This leads depression, isolation, loneliness, and fear.

Building a trusting relationship takes time and matching of those who are ready to show vulnerability and reveal personal pain. If one is going to overcome the suffering and torture of abandonment and abuse, gradual opening up is required. Mentoring by a consistent, loving and trustworthy older person is one way that abused and abandoned people can overcome their trauma. Abraham Maslow said that safety is our first primary need.

When one is traumatized very young, he or she does not learn skills such as coping and discernment. Interpersonal communication, emotional openness, and understanding the complexity of life's circumstances come when one has been loved, supported, and guided into mature adulthood.

So -- traumatized people lack developmental skills and coping mechanisms. They are so fear-motivated that they don't learn to love themselves and trust that they will be all right. Empire Consciousness continues the idea that only those who come out on top will be all right. There is not enough for everyone, and some people will just have to suffer and do without. Scarcity thinking produces hoarding and scarcity becomes a reality.

Oneness Consciousness is the solution to such overwhelming pain and suffering. In order to love one's child, one must love oneself, and see the beauty and glory in everyone else. Mature parenting comes when one has been loved and guided as a child, or when one has worked hard to overcome early childhood trauma and re-wire brain chemistry.

We need mentoring programs for wounded children and adults that explore these issues, and screen carefully for loving, trustworthy, and mature mentors.

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The Face of Grace

12/28/2021

Grace means that we are loved by God unconditionally. Grace means that we are forgiven for our misguided actions--before they occur, when they occur, and after they occur.

Grace means that we are totally accepted for who we are, and we don't need to earn it. If we can feel this acceptance and love, we are free from having to conform to a worldly norm of beauty, success, or accomplishment.

When we live in grace, we can accept others, love them even though they are imperfect, challenging or self-absorbed.

Grace is related to being gracious, and living in gratitude . Grace is a sign of open-heartedness, and compassion.

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Why So Many Mass Shootings?

What Men and Boys Really Need that They Don't Receive

Solutions to Yet Another Mass School Shooting

Self-Compassion as Spiritual Practice

I am Not the Mistakes that I Have Made

The Holiness of Authenticity

Cherish the Gifts

We are One with the One

Where Have All the Flowers Gone? Again.

A Time for Resilience

Empire vs Unity Consciousness with Dr. Michael Obsatz

Trustworthy Mentoring

Trustworthy Longterm Consistent Mentoring: The Antidote to Empire Consciousness, Childhood Trauma, Oppression, Abuse and Abandonment

The Face of Grace