I will be turning 81 next week.  That's 9 squared.  I make a joke about it because it doesn't seem real to me.  How can I be 81  when I was just 50 about five minutes ago.
 
Time flies, and it flies faster the older I get.  The following week, my youngest daughter turns 40.  How can that be?  She was a child not long ago, and now she has children of her own.
 
I frankly did not think I would make it to 81.  My sister died at 55.  My cousin died at 54.  My grandmother lived until 65 or so.  
 
When I think back to my early life, I feel a lot of sadness.  That little boy was lonely and trapped.  As a victim of violent bullying for years, I often thought I'd be better off dead.  Maybe I outlived the gang of boys who tormented and hurt me so badly.
 
Boyhood was painful.  Adolescence was confusing.  College and graduate school were draining.  Lots of tests, awkward social situations.
 
You see -- as a young man, I received little guidance and support for navigating the world.  I was clueless, and lacked many social skills.  It is a miracle that I made it through the teens and twenties.
So much pressure to perform, to prove myself, to "know" about life.
 
It would have been wonderful to have a mentor during those years who stood by me and helped me process the many challenges I faced.  My high school English teacher was some support.  But he was llimited in how much he could help me.  College advisors were not much help, and therapists were only for the severely mentally disturbed.
 
Maybe that is why I mentor people now.  I have been doing it for thirty or more years.  I realize how much I would have benefited if I had somebody who took an interest in me and my life, and maintained a connection with me through those challenging years.
 
I started teaching college at 25, only 3 years older than many of my students.  What did I know about the complexities of life, how to navigate the academic world, how to choose a partner, how to nurture myself?
 
I am determined to be there for others -- long term, and support them, sharing my wisdom and insights, providing them with guidance, love, and unconditional acceptance.
 
I have read more than 3000 books, plus articles.  I have been a variety of life situations, and finally think I know what really matters.
 
My spiritual growth, and my living with love and grace, did not come easy.  I found spiritual connection, passion, and love through a variety of belief systems and organizations.  It was hit and miss.
 
But I am grateful to have arrived at 81, with good health, a strong spiritual and emotional support network. I have a created a variety of books, films, websites, and articles.  I am not done yet.
 
I continue to follow my bliss, find joy in my family and friends, and keep up with medical appointments and check-ups.  But mostly, I dedicate my life to being what I needed most - a guiding light in a sometimes dark and confusing world.

The world can be a challenging place to live.  Jesus told us to be "IN the world, but not OF the world."  To be not OF the world means that one does not live needing earthly approval, praise, or validation.  It also means seeing the limitations of worldly values, beliefs, and activities.  Success, position, wealth didn't matter to Jesus.  He spent time with the lowly, the hungry, the outcasts.
 
We must learn to navigate a world filled with pain and suffering, as well as joy, love and compassion, and still maintain our spiritual connection and Divine Essense.  Since we are children of God, children of the Universe, we have only one label or definition.  We are not lured into worldly descriptions of who we are "supposed to be."  
 
We are not our race, gender, age, position, social status, sexual orientation, etc.  We are more than any of these.  India Arie sings that "I am Light."
 
Navigational skills can help a great deal, as we try to maintain our Divine awareness, and yet cope with worldly issues.
 
Here are some of the situations which require our Divine Coping and Navigational Skills:
 
Pressure to conform to others' perceptions of who one "should" be and how one "should" act.
 
Interacting with difficult, arrogant, self-righteous, hostile and narcissistic people.
 
Going unnoticed for the good that one does.  Not being appreciated, praised, or valued.
 
Dealing with other people's projections -- their own self-hatred, for example.
 
Empathizing with the world's suffering while not trying to fix people or situations.
 
Grieving worldly losses, but not staying stuck in grieving.
 
Wars, injustice, brutality, insults, shaming.
 
How do we navigate an often depressing world?
 
We navigate these challenges through continually reminding ourselves that we are Children of God, doing the best we can, a world that doesn't always act in loving and compassionate ways.
 
Choosing our battles.  Knowing when to speak up, and when to keep quiet.  Maintaining a low profile when it makes sense.  Standing up for fairness, justice, and inclusion when we can.
 
Living in gratitude. Seeing the blessings in seemingly impossible situations.  
 
We realize that we have one foot planted on Planet Earth, and another foot connected to Divine Light.
 
Good luck on your navigational journey, Child of Light and Love.

Essence is eternal.  Form changes.
Essence is the core of what matters.  Form is one way of expressing Essence but is not to be mistaken for Essence.
 
Form leads to labels, categories, and judgment.  Essence is beyond description, and not capable of grasping totally by the human mind and spirit.
 
We are Essence.  Our Essence is packaged in Human Form.  This Form is born, changes, and dies.  Essence lasts forever.
 
Empire Consciousness is about Form.  Oneness Consciousness is about Essence.  Empires come and go, live and die.  Empires define, categorize, and rank. 
 
Believing that Empire is Essence is the largest mistake anyone can make.  We are temporarily here on this planet.  Our Essence is everlasting, and our connection with each other's Essence is the Ultimate spiritual experience.  
 
Oneness Consciousness is the incredible Namaste -- The God in Me Beholds the God in You.  This undefinable truth is what brings joy and peace.  Without Oneness, all the Forms can do is battle for power, prestige, and dominance.  However, this is an exercise in futility.  Form is empty without Essence.  
 
God is Essence.  The Ultimate, Formless, but Essential Light.  There is nothing that can describe this, or define it.  It just IS.
 
Until we start living in Oneness Consciousness, we will continue to have famine, wars, and suffering.  By dividing,  defining, labeling, and categorizing we  lose our Ultimate Divine Connection.
 
Death changes our Form, but not our Essence.  The Main Idea is to see the Ultimate Oneness of everyone and everything, and live from the mystical sacred blessing that is Life Itself.  

We grieve where the world is at.  War in Ukraine,  gun violence and killings at home, corruption in the government, oppression of the poor, minorities, people of color.
 
We grieve that life does not seem to be getting better for many people.  Women are no longer in control of their reproductive lives, diseases are rampant, and millions of people have died in recent years.  Forest fires are raging.  Droughts are everywhere.  The climate is changing and the earth is suffering.
 
We wish we could heal everyone.  We wish people would rise to a higher level of consciousness and focus on oneness, compassion, empathy, and abundance for all.
 
We wish for wholeness and holiness to take the place of separation, labels, and marginalization.  Why, oh why does there have to be so much suffering?
 
Some people are living longer, but are they living better?  How can we enjoy good health and peace when so many are suffering at the hands of others?  
 
The Cosmic Dump, the large letting go of how things could be or should be.  Knowing one can do what one can.  I am doing what I am called to do, capable of doing at this moment.  I take joy in seeing the good in every little act of kindness, every slight amount of compassion, generosity, empathy, and grace.
 
Grace is the Ultimate Cosmic Dump.  Grace is knowing there is love, and love abounds.  In the midst of the turmoil and pain, in the midst of the worst upheavals.
 
Grace, grace, grace.  We are loved.  We are lovable.  We are loving.  We can make a difference, no matter how small it appears.
 
Listening, being fully present, showing caring and concern for others.  Letting go of the world, and holding onto God.  Letting go of the need to "fix" what is wrong.
 
Now is the time for flushing out toxic messages, hate language, and divisiveness.
 
Thank you, dear God, for the time to be on this planet, amidst all of its pain, and make even the slightest difference.

Laura Collier has written an article called "Growth After Trauma."  She describes people who have experienced trauma and instead of just closing down and dying, they become more aware, compassionate, purposeful, and connected.  Working though one's pain, and seeing one's inner beauty was the primary focus of the Human Potential Movement started by Abraham Maslow and others.  Maslow was my college psychology professor in 1960 - 1963.
 
 I began my teaching career at Macalester College in St. Paul in 1967.  In the 1970's, I worked part-time at the American Chemical Dependency Center in Chanhassen, Minnesota as a group facilitator, aftercare leader and family group leader.  The Center was  created by Robert and Mary McAullife. They had a written a manual about the disease concept of chemical dependency and its treatment.  One of the core beliefs in the treatment program was that of "Weller than Well."  It meant that people who explore and work through their suffering and pain in depth can become more whole, loving, connected human beings.
 
"Well" is considered what is "normal" in America -- an unexamined life.  "Weller than Well" is about people who have struggled with abuse, addiction, trauma and oppression. They have cried and yelled, and dealt with feelings of isolation, betrayal, unworthiness.  They become more in touch with emotional connections, and more compassionate and empathetic.
 
During the seventies, books about healing shame were written by John Bradshaw. Shame, he stated, was a necessary bi-product of a culture of greed, hypocrisy and hierarchy.  I call this Empire Consciousness which focuses on domination, power, control, and hierarchy.
 
"Weller than Well" means moving beyond the cultural norms of individualism and domination.  It means see the larger picture, the picture of Oneness.  Oneness Consciousness is about wholeness, compassion, and experiencing love for all of creation.  This includes the earth, diverse people, animals, plants and oneself.
 
Going through suffering, pain, and trauma has growth potential.  There are centers in the United States focusing on "Growth After Trauma."   Many believe those who have worked through their pain, developed meaningful spiritual connection, and moved from Empire Consciousness to Oneness Consciousness are more loving, insightful, and empathetic.
 
It is interesting that wholistic concepts created more than 60 years ago laid the groundwork for our understanding about addiction, abuse, and trauma today.  May we all become "Weller than Well."

Concepts of God have been taught for generations.  For some children, God was taught to be an old white man with grey hair and a beard.  If you weren't white, you couldn't identify with God.  
 
So, I have come up with my new understanding of the word based on the 3 letters, G, O, and D.  Given my Jewish upbringing, my thirty year Methodist church experience, my Unity understandings, my Buddhist readings, and other ideas, I wish to share my latest ideas about the nature of God:
 
G -- Guiding
O -- Omnipresent
D -- Devotion
 
Guiding
There are truths, principles and beliefs which guide our lives to living into wholeness, oneness and connection.  To accept this guidance, one must have faith and trust in something beyond ourselves, beyond the visible.  There is some guiding idea, some plan, some force that provides an inner knowing where we are discerning, supportive, and life-affirming.
 
Omnipresent
This force is everywhere, all over, in everyone, everything.  It is the ubiquitous life-giving energy that infuses all of creation.  It is timeless, formless, and within each of us.
 
Devotion
This guiding principle which is everything and in everything cherishes us, is devoted to our well-being, wholeness, and oneness with all of universe and creation.
It is filled with love, compassion, empathy, and kindness.  It is the ultimate unconditional love energy that immerses us in the wholeness and oneness of all.  We are loved and supported beyond measure.
 
So, God is Guiding Omnipresent Devotion.  We are all Walking, Waking, and Talking Miracles who have overcome difficult challenges and limitations.  The more we emerge into our Oneness consciousness, the more we can infuse the world with it.

We travel through life from the time we are born until we die.  We go many places, meet many people, and have a wide variety of experiences. Some of these experiences bring us joy, others bring us pain.  And some are just neutral.
 
As we grow and change, evolve and experience, we can be too caught up in appearances, approval, and expectations.  What if every encounter with anyone was  simply an opportunity to learn something or support someone else on their journey?  What if we had no expectations of reciprocity, or continuous contact with particular people? 
 
Letting everything go, not having an agenda, and not expecting a desired result can seem like it is avoiding the real meaning of living.  However, being too caught up in the "real" meaning of everything can be restrictive and depressing.
 
The government changes.  Politicians come and go.  Their decisions affect the lives of many people.  What if we didn't expect them to be wise, or evolved, or even thoughtful?
 
Not being attached to outcomes can result in a calm spiritual peace.  There will be peace and there will be wars.  People will leave us, betray us, and hurt us.  But it is simply the way they are.  We can grieve all the pain in the world, as well as our own.  Or, we can just accept that life has its ups and downs.  Nothing lasts forever.  Some people are spiritually evolved, but many are not.  
 
The world suffers from a lack of compassion, empathy, and trust.  No one is totally safe anywhere.  How can we live in the world, but not be too devastated by the world's inhumane, unloving ways?
 
Do your best. Give life your best shot.  But don't expect to be loved or appreciated or  valued for the gifts you give.  Give the gifts because you are a gift giver.  Give time, energy, attention, love, compassion, empathy, and nurturing.  
 
Life is a garden to be continually watered, and cultivated.  I think Voltaire got it right.  By letting go and letting the Divine energy lead the way, we go with the flow, and have few fits of rage, jealousy, envy, resentment, and regret.
 
So, ease on down the road of life.  Savor every minute of real beauty and connection.  We are all in this together, and yet we are on our unique paths.
 
Let's simplify, and let's watch the "dramatic response" to life's ups and downs.  It's an amazingly wild ride, and it is time to let go and let God.

As children, we are taught to listen to our parents, obey rules, and conform to certain norms.   These norms are created by a culture -- norms about gender, norms about appearance, norms about seeking approval, and norms about being accepted and popular.
 
Social media including television and advertising are in our faces from the time we can read and see.
 
At some point, if we are fortunate, begin to develop minds of our own.  We re-think
 
and re-examine what we have been taught as the truth.  We grow more mature and realize that what we have been fed is not necessarily for our own personal good, nor the good of others.  Someone else must benefit from our blindly following the ideas of our culture.
 
Empire Consciousness is taught from our early childhood.  We are brainwashed from the beginning about power, success, competition, domination, control and hierarchy.  
 
Unless we challenge these ideas, we will continue to live in a world of pain, fear, destruction, violence, addiction, and loneliness.
 
The opportunity that we have on the spiritual journey is to see something else that matters.  Another way, another idea.
This is Oneness Consciousness, a transformational awareness that can move us from "me" to "we."  The common good of all becomes our touchstone, our focus.
 
This transformation to Oneness Consciousness is crucial for the survival of the country, planet earth, and all of creation.  Without this, we stay stuck in a level of immaturity, striving, and the never-ending longing for more.
 
We can become conscientious objectors to the cultural norms.  We see an alternative to hatred, fear, and desperation.  It is the process of sharing what we have, being mindful stewards of what we have been given, and living with compassion, gratitude, generosity, mindfulness, and Divine guidance.
 
We see the Divinity everywhere, especially in the diversity.  We see the Divinity in the disheartened, the lonely, the oppressed, the marginalized, the outcasts.
 
This Oneness Consciousness leads our way to meaningful connection and compassion for all of life and the earth itself.  We are illuminated, becoming beacons of shining lights, to dispel the darkness of Empire, and to bring peace, love and joy to all of creation.

When I was a boy, age sixty was considered pretty old.  Many people I knew were ill and dying in their fifties and sixties.  Today, the miracle is that people are living longer these days -- many to almost 100.  That is 40 additional years for many people.  This means that midlife is now around 50, and retirement does not mean packing it up and sleeping for hours in our rocking chairs.  
 
This may be due to medical advances, early detection of diseases, more available health 
 
care, and people learning to value and care for their mental and physical health on a regular basis.
 
I am almost 81 years old.  My body parts have
become my children.  I must care for my ears, eyes, teeth, hips, backs, legs, feet, joints, lungs, heart, etc.  Every day, there is attention paid to diet, exercise, medical appointments.
 
Older people are not the fragile, dawdling people sometimes shown in movies and on television.
I have watched older shows like "The Carol Burnett Show" and "The Golden Girls."  The humor is often putdowns of growing older.  Carol Burnett plays "the old folks."  Estelle Getty is in her 80's, and although she is sharp and witty, there are clearly jokes at her expense due to her age.
 
Side note:  On "The Golden Girls," Rose Nyland (played by the wonderful Betty White) is a dumb hick from Minnesota.  Many of the stereotypes of Minnesota are degrading.  But that's another story.
 
Older people are incredible.  They have wisdom and experience.  They have overcome many obstacles and much suffering.  They have gone through loss after loss.  They have watched trends come and go.  They have lived through peacetime and wartime.  They have marched for the freedom and rights of others.  They have created beautiful art-- books, movies, paintings, etc.
 
Many have traveled to different parts of the world.  Many have raised children and loved grandchildren.  In "the Sibling Society," Robert Bly states that many young people rely on the internet or each other more than they do and older people.  He believes that elder wisdom goes untapped.
 
Elder wisdom is cherished in so many cultures.  In America, we learn early that wrinkles are ugly and gray hairs are signs of incompetence.
 
A number of amazing elderly people have died in the last few years.  Cicely Tyson, Robert Bly, Stephen Sondheim, Betty White, and Sidney Poitier are just a few of the famous ones.
 
What can the elderly teach others about patience, humility, living in community, and social change?  It is time to change our thinking about getting older.  Older can be bolder.  Older can be wiser.  And older is definitely not time to be "put out to pasture."